100 Worst Songs of The 80's Challenge: Poem #2

Now, let me preface this by saying, I do not completely agree with the list of 100 songs, but thought this could be a fun 80's activity just the same. So, here is #100 from the 100 Worst #1 Songs of The 80's. Also, I never promised that these would be good. I'm sure most will be humorous in nature.


Private Eyes: A Re-Imagining (In the style of a haiku)


I stalk you always,
knowing that sometimes you lie;
my love is forever.

100 Worst Songs of The 80's Challenge: Poem #1

Now, let me preface this by saying, I do not completely agree with the list of 100 songs, but thought this could be a fun 80's activity just the same. So, here is #100 from the 100 Worst #1 Songs of The 80's. Also, I never promised that these would be good. I'm sure most will be humorous in nature.

Dirty Diana: A Re-Imagining

No Diana, Dirty.

Don't think you're going to con me into staying,

you promiscuous vixen, unless you sit on

my chest. Lucky for me, you cannot move very

quickly. It must be because you're a broken down

old whore. I know I've been here,

hell I've payed with 

cash dollars, food, my soul,

and I knew it somewhere, that you were a prostitute

but your womanly rolls had enticed me, as they

enticed all men who prefer cherub faced women,

but not this time.

I hate those eyes, all knowing, saying "whatever baby"

The subtle curve of the lip, ever so mischievous, you're 

probably thinking

I've got the goods. I know what he likes. He can't deny it.

While I started out indignant, the defeat is slowly

worming its way into my resolve. Breaking

me down. Breaking my

all too weak and slimy integrity.

Please leave me alone.

You're Dirty Diana, no.

The next time some high roller, some rock

star comes to town, I know you'll be slipping

behind stage doors and curtains,

sipping whiskeys and laughing with the over-priced

and egotistical. Looking for fortune or maybe

fame, but being let down each time.

You're good for one night baby, not an entire decade.

And, each time you're done. Each time they break

your spirits, send you home a little worse 

for wear, a little more used and broken down 

than before, you'll call me up because

you don't like to sleep alone. And,

each time I'll leave my wife just

to have you once more.

*I tried to stick with the message from the lyrics as much as possible here. This really is a TERRIBLE song. Just saying.

My Eyes Hurt

I may or may not have played video games for 14 hours yesterday (okay, I did). This is why I do not touch video games while school is in session; I know my limits people! If I played video games all year, no papers would every get graded. Ever.

So far, the holiday break has been excellent, and I have gotten a VERY small start on my list of "Things I Would Like To Do Over Break." I feel like it's been pretty productive so far since I only started break on Friday, and had the holiday all weekend. See it below:

1. Finish my second novel, "Damned Before Breakfast," and FINALLY get it to the publisher. (This should have been done last January. I'm sure they're extra pleased with my expedience.)
2. Play through 2 of my very patient video games. (I am more than halfway through my first game.)
3. Read 4 of the books that have been collecting dust in my office.
4. Sleep.(Got some good shut eye in the day after Christmas)
5. Sing Karaoke.(Went out last Thursday for a little bit, will probably do the same this week.)
6. Sleep more.
7. Write the syllabi for my Spring courses.(Set up both online classrooms, wrote out the curricula for both ground classes. Just have to type up the actual syllabi and I'm done!)
8. Relax.
9. Go see the Dr. Seuss exhibit.

Other things I've managed to do:

1. Got two nerdy tattoos (Matches the Dragon from Scooby Doo and The Ghoul School and The Deathly Hallows Symbol)
2. Played board games for hours (Pirate Flux, Zombie Flux, Mr. Bacon's Big Adventure, Tetris Link and Would You Rather)

Another Great (Probably Unfinishable) Writing Idea

There is this poetry writing exercise where you take an already exisiting poem, and write it backwards. You start from the bottom and work your way to the top, keeping the line lengths the same. So, if you were to take the first verse of  "Meeting at Night" by Elizabeth Browning :

Meeting at Night

     I.

       The grey sea and the long black land;

       And the yellow half-moon large and low;

       And the startled little waves that leap

       In fiery ringlets from their sleep,

       As I gain the cover with pushing prow,

       And quench its speed i'the slushy sand.

And then you were to apply this method, you would have:

       Sand slushy i'the speed its quench and

       Prow pushing with cover the gain I as

       Sleep their from ringlets fiery in,

       Leap that waves little startled the and

       Low and large half-moon yellow the and

       land black long the and sea grey the.

Then you're supposed to tinker with it until it makes sense and sounds nice again. It's meant to be a framework from which you can create new verse.... Now, the reason I am boring you with silly poetry exercises is this: I came across a list of the 100 Worst 80's Songs. It's someone's personal list, and I disagree with much of it, but I digress. I thought it might be fun to try this type of exercise with the top 100 worst 80's songs to see if I could come up with anything interesting or of some type of quality. I may not follow the specifications above, maybe I'll just use the titles... we shall see.

Does anyone think this could be a good idea? Or a worthwhile undertaking?

    

Robert Smith, Are You My Daddy?

I was once told that I looked like the bastard child of Robert Smith and Kelly Osbourne. Now, the logistics of that particular affair send shivers down my spine and make me a nauseous sausage.  However, I do not actually oppose to the reference. Who doesn't love some Robert Smith? (Well, I'm sure you people are out there, but come on... The Cure is classic!) I don't think it's a particularly accurate comparison, but then again, back in those days I looked a bit more like this....

So, I guess I sort of get it. Anyway, the reason I am randomly blogging about my appearance is because I just watched a decent cover of "Just Like Heaven." I actually really love cover songs, provided they don't completely bastardize the original. I like that today's musicians are bringing the music from decades past to a whole new audience. 

The cover in question is done by AFI, and there's actually a live video where Robert Smith is in the audience at the show, even cooler. 

Another cover that I found to be particularly well-done is the cover of  Gerard McMann's "Cry Little Sister" done by Seasons After. Though I do prefer the original, this is pretty damn good.

Things I'd Like To Do Over Break

It seems like the small winter break that I get (since I teach summers), is the only time during the year that I really get to do "me" things. I have a backlog of things that I really need to or want to do. I've been collecting books that I'd like to read for years now, and have not even made a small dent in the stack which is comprised of well over 50 unread books. I also have a pile of PS2 (yes, PS2) games and Wii games that have been lying neglected in my bedroom. So, here is the list of things that I'd like to accomplish over break. I've omitted all of the bill paying and other mundane stress-filled activities from said list.

1. Finish my second novel, "Damned Before Breakfast," and FINALLY get it to the publisher. (This should have been done last January. I'm sure they're extra pleased with my expedience.)
2. Play through 2 of my very patient video games.
3. Read 4 of the books that have been collecting dust in my office.
4. Sleep.
5. Sing Karaoke.
6. Sleep more.
7. Write the syllabi for my Spring courses.
8. Relax.
9. Go see the Dr. Seuss exhibit.

School's Out For... Erm... Winter?

So, I just finished administering my final FINAL examination for the semester. Now I have three days of grading before my short (but hopefully relaxing) break from work. I wanted to take this time to reflect on just a few things.

Every semester I do a set of grammar lessons with my students, the last of which is a "look-alike/sound-alike" lecture. During the lecture we cover various problematic homophones and homonyms. I really hate to do exercises of this type in a college English setting, but sometimes it's necessary. So, I try to have fun with it so that the students are at least mildly entertained instead of just angry with me.

My favorite set of "problem" words is: Past/Passed. My problems tend to include things like:

                             Marty McFly went back to the ________________.

                             Bill and Ted kidnapped Socrates from the ________________________.

I like to think that I am being clever or at least funny, but it seems less and less the case these days. What's the world coming to when the youth of our nation has never seen Back To The Future? Sigh...

I also like to jazz up my mid-term and final exams with random funny answers just to see if students are paying attention. I'll occasionally hear a chuckle in the back of the room, but for the most part they stay silent. Perhaps it's because they're all serious students and hard workers... I'd like to think that. Though, it could be that they just either don't get or don't appreciate my attempts at humor.

For example:

1. When capitalizing a title in an APA style reference list, you must follow the APA capitalization rule.
    Which of the following titles has been properly formatted:

     A. Luke, I Am Your Father

     B. The lord of the rings

     C. THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BONZAI

     D. Little SHOP of HORRORS

                                 ..... and to no avail. At least I am entertaining myself, right? Right?